Last week, I had a really strange dream. I was young, probably a teenager, and I was riding in my dad's truck with him and my step-mom going to their house for the weekend. Before we went home, though, we were going to go someplace really cool. I'm not sure where it was or what exactly we were doing, but I knew that at the end of this long, dirt road through the dark woods, we were going to do something or be somewhere really special.
Everything was going great until, all of the sudden, the truck broke down. It didn't just break down, but it was suddenly a rusted out, weed-covered mess with the worst bald tires you've ever seen. My dad was trying to figure out how to get it fixed, but I was looking at it wondering why he'd ever have attempted a journey of any kind in such a wreck of a truck. It was obvious, from looking at it, that it couldn't possibly complete a trip across the road, much less a long, rocky journey down a dirt road in the middle of the woods.
Now, here we were, stuck, with no one to call to help us out. Suddenly, I was an adult again, and I realized that I could call my husband and he could come get us. It'd take him awhile, but he could get there and take us all back to the safety and comfort of home.
It was such a strange dream and I remembered it with perfect clarity.
A couple of nights later, we found ourselves in the local used bookstore, all alone because the kids had spent the weekend with their grandparents. After looking in the sections I usually like to peruse, I started wandering down aisles that I don't usually visit, just browsing. I found myself standing in front of a section of books that were supposed to explain the meanings of dreams.
Now, I know that stuff can get really New Age-y, but I also know that in the Bible dreams very often had meaning, so I started looking through one of the books, just out of curiosity. It said that a car represents a journey. Makes sense. It also said that a breakdown indicates a fear about the journey or about not completing it.
If I'm not on a journey right now, I don't know who is. It's one of the biggest of my life and there is something incredibly awesome waiting at the end. However, it's an arduous journey. The road is long and I'd be lying if I denied any fear or doubt in my ability to complete it. That beat-up, rusted out, broken down truck makes a pretty good representation of the way I feel about my body right now. And there is safety in the thought of turning around and returning to the comfort and familiarity of "home."
I won't, though. I know I can do this if I just don't give up. I'm going to reach that exciting place at the end of the road. It won't be without fear and hardship, but the reward will be worth it all...and I won't come pulling up to the finish line in a wreck of a body. I'll be fit and healthy and proud of the way I look.